A commentary on Gradual Impact by Alison Bechdel and Sappho 19.
Written by: Ayasha Nordiawan
Through their works, Alison Bechdel and Sappho explore and present their take on romantic love and the complexities that come along with that concept. While both of them seem to be approaching it from contrasting perspectives, there is clearly a common point of Alison Bechdel and Sappho talking about lost loves – regrets, but also coming with it is understanding and the atmosphere of bittersweet, as the two look back at their respective relationship retroactively and reflect on what it was – what they did and what they remembered.
Bechdel looks back at her relationship thinking of who she was back then, trying to figure out what she was thinking, and why she let go of such a rainbow filled situation. There is a contrast shown throughout the story – the Bechdel from 30 years ago, and the Bechdel now. It is a part of her exploring her identity and a part of her reflecting on herself, the decisions that she made, and why she made them. The fact that she was also able to acknowledge that she was “uncomfortable” because of Tamar’s beauty also shows that she actually consciously makes those decision – but perhaps during that time, she wasn’t completely aware of it yet. I think Bechdel brought up an important aspect of romantic love – that like all things, it may not make sense during the time it happens and you will make reckless mistakes and things you will question many years later – why? But it is that process of experiencing and understanding that shapes the complex identity of who you are.
Sappho might as well be from thousands of years ago, but the universality of the feeling of loss and yearning for love that is so thick in her voice makes it still applicable to make a connection to Bechdel’s work that is written many many centuries after. To me, putting it side by side with Bechdel’s work, Sappho’s work almost seems like it is from the other perspective. The one being left behind, perhaps, and not leaving. However there is a distinct tone of growth in Sappho’s work. The description of strong sadness, of longing for something that is no longer there. But there was also acceptance. Of telling them to go but asking them to “remember me”, and descriptively explaining the beautiful things that happened while it lasted. It’s similar to Bechdel recalling Tamar’s physical traits – her skin and her hair, as she reminisced back when she saw Tamar again. Sappho presents romantic love in such a real, vulnerable way – the hurt that comes along with it, while also acknowledging that it brings the good. To remember that both parties have done good for each other and the courage to acknowledge that even after things stopped working out.
It is also perhaps worth to note that this tone of growth comes from the fact that both works are ‘apostrophes’ (i.e. “an address to a dead or absent person”, The Poetry Foundation). It is only because the people are gone that they’re able to look at it the way they do right now. Sappho asks for the lover to remember her, boldly making a claim that there was “no dance, no holy place, from which we were absent” — but perhaps that sense of having enough, the fond reminiscing, can only come from the absence. The same with Bechdel remembering the gray hair, Tamar’s hands, all that she ran away from when Tamar was physically there. It addresses the idea of love being the most impactful when absent – and I think both Bechdel and Sappho explores that extremely well.
Through this, Sappho not only explores the concept of romantic love, but also how an individual grows and is shaped by their prior experiences in their lives. Past loves – flowers around throats or movies or refused river walks. Her work is universal because those feelings are a part of being human, the same as explored by Bechdel, thus making it timeless even when read many centuries later. Time may pass and change, and yet humans still continue to explore love, continue to hurt and heal, continue to grow. Nothing much have changed there.
Inkling. 
